More Than a Feeling
by SundayRose01
Summary: AU A drunk Lily seeks out a former friend. Can they restore their friendship? Can they become more than just friend?
1. Chapter 1

Lily Evans had been home for a total of 7 days and already she was praying for the end of summer. Yes she liked the break from all the work but her older sister Petunia was driving her crazy. One moment Petunia would be screeching at her the next she would be very sisterly. Normally to get away from her hot-and-cold attitude Lily would spend the entire summer with her best friend Severus Snape, but after what he said to her she couldn't even bring herself to look at him.

"Are you even listening to me?" Petunia snapped at her. Lily was shaken out of her thoughts and looked up from the kitchen table to look at her sister eye to eye.

"I'm sorry." Lily said monotonously. "What were you saying?"

Petunia let out a frustrated sigh and sat herself down in the chair next to Lily.

"I said David from down the street is having a party and I need you to come with me."

"Why?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Because Vernon will be there and I don't want to look like a loser by being there alone." She explained in an exasperated voice. Lily nodded her head.

"Alright." she agreed. "But I'll have to borrow some of your clothes since I don't have much muggle clothing." Petunia scrunched up her nose.

"I doubt any of them would fit you." She replied snottily. Lily rolled her eyes and stood up from her seat at the table.

"You're right. I have breasts and hips while you still have the body of a 13 year-old boy." Lily retorted with a wide smile that showed off her pearly white teeth and slightly dimpled cheeks.

Petunia glared at her sisters retreating form and angrily bit off a piece of her buttered toast.

* * *

The girls had less than 5 minutes left to get ready and Petunia still couldn't decide what she was going to wear. Lily could have sworn that she had seen her in every article of clothing that she owned.

"What do you think of this?" Petunia asked as she stepped out of her closet. Lily looked up again and tried not to laugh. Her sister had on the most repulsive white and pink dress that went down to her calves.

"Well do you like it?" Lily asked with a slight tilt of her head. Petunia smiled lovingly upon the dress and nodded.

"I love it." She said. "And I think that Vernon will, too."

Then Petunia spun around to inspect her sister from head to toe.

"Is that what you're wearing?" She questioned Lily with an air of disgust. Lily clenched her jaw tightly and tried her best to stay calm.

"I am." She confirmed. "Why? What's wrong with it."

Petunia continued to look at the outfit which consisted of a plain black skirt and a simple emerald green blouse. Nothing over the top in Lily's opinion.

"Nothing's wrong with it." Petunia answered in an arrogant tone and turned to open her bedroom door. "Unless you want the boys there to think you're easy."

Lily's mouth dropped in shock.

"Excuse me?" She said sharply but Petunia cut her off.

"Well, there's no time for you to get changed now. Just hurry up so we can tell mum and dad we're leaving."

Lily followed her sister down the stairs in a huff and into the sitting room where their parents were.

"Mum, dad?" Petunia said and waited until both faces were looking at her. "Lily and I are going to Elizabeth's house for that party I told you about."

Lily looked at Petunia with her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Elizabeth?" Lily asked under her breath but was met with a fierce look.

"Alright, sweethearts." Mrs. Evans responded and went back to doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. "Be back before 11."

"Yes, mum." Both girls agreed and started towards the door.

"Oh, Lily!" Mr. Evans' voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Yes dad?"

"Don't you think that outfit is a little too revealing?" Lily's face turned red and Petunia looked smug.

"Mum!" She called out. Her mother dropped the newspaper again and looked her youngest daughter.

"Charles, she looks fine." Lily smiled brightly.

"Thanks, mum." With that she quickly made her way outside with Petunia in tow.

"I told you." Petunia said. Lily ignored her and kept her eyes ahead.

They walked for a couple minutes before they reached their destination.

"Lily if anyone asks you've been at an all girls boarding school in Scotland." Petunia informed her as she wiped invisible wrinkles from her dress and raised her boney hand to knock on the door.

Without hesitation the door swung open and in the doorway stood a tall blonde haired guy that Lily assumed was David after he and Petunia greeted each other.

"And who is you're lovely friend?" He asked. His gaze on Lily made her squirm uncomfortably.

"This is my younger sister, Lily." Petunia introduced. "Lily, this is David,"

"Hello." Lily greet politely and shook his hand.

"Come in, come in!" He said ushering them in.

Lily looked around and saw maybe 20 people. Some party.

"Can I get you ladies something to drink?" David asked with his eyes still on Lily, or more specifically Lily's chest.

"I'll take a water." Petunia answered and then looked at her sister warningly. Lily smiled slyly in return.

"David, do you have any alcohol?" David eyes sparked with glee and he nodded.

"Yeah. Why don't you follow me to the kitchen." David started walking to the door and Lily began to follow him until she felt someone tug on her arm.

"Are you crazy?" Petunia whispered franticly. "You can't drink, mum and dad will kill you!"

Lily removed her arm from Petunia's grasp and shrugged.

"You coming, Lily?" David's voice called from over the music as he stood in the doorway.

"Yeah!" Lily called back and left Petunia standing there alone.

* * *

Lily stumbled outside with a bottle of dark liquor that she stole from the liquor cabinet and thanked Merlin that David was a lightweight and passed out. Him making passes at her every bloody second was really starting to get on her nerves.

Taking a large swig out of the bottle, and wincing at how strong it was, Lily looked around for something to do. Going home wasn't an option because she was piss ass drunk and she didn't want to deal with her parents, Petunia was still in David's house talking to Vernon, who arrived shortly after the girls got there, and she didn't have any muggle friends. But then her eyes lit up. She may not have had any muggle friends but she did have a friend in the muggle world. Well, ex-friend, but small details like that didn't bother the inebriated Lily.

It was dark out and since she was going to the shadier side of town she took the shortcut to Spinner's End. It wasn't long before Lily was standing in front of the run-down house of the Snapes'. She had been there so many times to see Severus that she knew the route like the back of her hand.

There was a light on in the kitchen and she could see the glow of the television coming from his living room so she knew that his parents were still up. Lily had never formally met them and even in her current state knew it wouldn't be wise just to knock on the front door. Instead, she walked to the side of the house and looked up at the window that led to Severus's bed. She dropped the liquor bottle and began gathering pebbles to throw one by one at his window. After throwing a few of the rocks, a light when on in the room and Lily immediately stopped and waited.

Severus Snape appeared at the window, wand in hand, and looked furiously down to see who the source was. His look softened and became confused when he saw the figure of Lily, the girl who had been ignoring him and his endless apologies for the past two months.

He hastily opened his window and called out in a soft voice, "What are you doing here?"

"Come out!" Lily whispered backed and motioned him with her hand.

Without hesitation he responded, "I'll be right there."

Lily sighed and plopped herself down on the dewy grass. She scanned the small area for the bottle she dropped not that long ago and saw it nowhere in sight.

"Hi." Severus said as popped into her view and sat in front of her, head down.

"Hey, old mate!" She greeted cheerily with a wave. "How have you been?"

Severus face, that had held slight hope and happiness just moments ago, fell into a look of hurt.

"Are you drunk?" He asked and leaned forwards to see if he could smell the alcohol on her. He could and it was very strong.

"What?" Lily asked incredulously and waved him off. "No! No, I just had a bit of that stuff." She pointed in the direction of where she thought the bottle was, but Severus didn't take his eyes off her.

Severus stayed quite. He wanted to ask her why she was there but he was just happy that she _was _there and didn't want to upset her and have her leave.

"Tuney dragged me to this boring party so she could meet up with this REALLY large guy that she's dating or something." Lily said into the silent night. "And I thought 'Hey why don't I cure my boredom by hanging out with that jerk I use to like.'"

"Lily, I said I was sorry." Severus said weakly. Lily looked at him and saw his pain. She eased up and crawled closer to him.

"Did you mean it?" She asked somberly. Severus finally looked up and into her eyes and felt his heart start to beat faster.

"When I said sorry?" He asked and Lily quickly nodded. "With all my heart. I've been kicking myself every moment since it happened."

Lily looked away and into the darkness. When she looked back at him, he could see tears start to well up in her eyes.

"I cried myself to sleep that night." She said in a whisper. Severus felt his fast beating heart clench in pain. Everything he did was to impress her. The last thing he ever wanted to do was cause her pain. He reached out for her hand that laid in her lap and gently held it.

"Lily?" Severus said in a controlled, confident tone. Lily looked at him and waited for him to continue.

"I love you." He stammered out in a rush. He didn't know what made him finally say it but he was certain that Lily being drunk and probably not being able to remember this conversation in the morning had a part to play. Lily's eyebrows raised in surprised.

"Like a friend?" Her bewildered voice slurred. Severus swallowed hard and shook his head 'no'.

"I mean, I've been _in _love with you since I was 11 years-old." Silence fell upon them again. Severus felt as if every second going by was a lifetime.

"Well," Lily cleared her throat. "Are you going to ask me out?"

Severus smiled brightly and let out a rare laugh.

"How about I take you home first and we'll see if you remember any of this in the morning." Severus stood up and reached down to help Lily do the same.

"Oh shit, I'm going to have such a hangover." Lily groaned sleepily.

"Don't worry, I'll bring you a potion tomorrow." Severus said and placed Lily's arm around his shoulders so she wouldn't stumble or fall.

The two of them slowly started towards Lily's house when Severus asked, "So Petunia has a boyfriend?"

Lily let out a thunderous laugh and replied, "You should see him! He's worse than the last."


	2. Chapter 2

Morning light penetrated through Lily's curtains and awoke her from her drunken slumber. She tried opening her eyes and lifting her head at the same time but fell back onto the pillow with a groan and holding her head in agony.

"It's about time you got up." A deep voice commented from beside her. Lily vaguely recalled the voice but the overwhelming throbbing in her head prevented her from remembering.

"I brought you that potion I promised." The voice said. Lily's eyes quickly snapped open and she turned to her side to see Severus sitting on the beanbag chair she had by her bed. Lily slowly sat up in her bed, not taking her eyes off him.

"What are you doing here, Severus?" She asked as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and made a small attempt to fix her bed-hair. Severus looked pained by the question and stood up immediately.

"I'm just here to bring you this to you." he nervously said, stepping closer to her bed and genially placing a small vial, filled with a golden liquid, near her feet.

"Wait!" Lily called out when he reached for the door. Severus stood with his back against the door and looked at her with a curious expression. "What happened?"

"From the information I gathered from you last night, Petunia dragged you to a party and you got drunk." Lily nodded at the story to show she understood.

"And you brought me home?" she asked.

Severus nodded and answered, "Yes."

"Did my parents catch me?"

"Almost." He remarked. "But I convinced them you were throwing up because you had a stomach virus."

Lily broke out in a fit of laughter and Severus smiled.

"Well, thanks for keeping me safe and out of trouble." Lily said sincerely. "_And_ for the potion. Hangover cure, I assume?"

"It is." Severus said. "Like I promised."

Lily nodded, again, and an awkward silence fell over them.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" Severus asked with hope laced in his voice.

Lily thought about it for a moment before breaking out in a nervous smile and replying, "Did I bother you?"

"No! Not at all." Severus sputtered out. "I was just wondering where we stand."

Playing with the vile of liquid between her hands, Lily mulled over his question.

"Are you aiming to be a death eater?" Lily asked stiffly with her lips pursed together and eyes focused on her hands.

"No." Severus stated simply without hesitation. He may not have meant it 100% but at this point the would have said or done anything to be in Lily's good graces.

Severus saw Lily's face instantly brighten. She quickly took the potion, jumped of bed wearing the clothes she had on the night before, and tightly wrapped her arms around him. He stood stiffly for a few seconds before carefully wrapping his arms around her.

"I just need you to be safe." Lily whispered in his chest. Severus gathered her closer.

"Lily?" His deep voice asked abruptly. Lily pulled away to see his face, but still held on to him. "Will you go out with me?"

Her mouth opened in shock.

"Are you serious?" She asked with a hint of excitement.

"I mean I completely understand if you say no or if-" Severus stuttered but was cut off by Lily's lips crashing upon his. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Lily pulled back with a dazzling smile etched on her face.

"So are we official?" Severus asked as he rested his forehead upon hers. Lily rolled her stunning emerald green eyes and pulled him into another kiss by his neck.

* * *

As summer continued it's smoldering heat made being outside unbearable. Lily and Severus had tried lounging around the small lake near Spinner's End but left after 10 minutes of heat exhaustion. But on the bright side, Severus had the pleasure of seeing Lily in a bikini.

At the present, the couple were in Severus's bedroom. Lily's parent's were out and the two of them didn't want to deal with Petunia and Severus's parent's were gone.

"Presumably at the local pub." he grumbled to Lily.

They laid silently in his bed, staring up at his ceiling, just talking. Occasionally they stopped to snog, but for the most part it was just talking. Then Lily turned to her side to look at him and asked, "Did you get your letter, yet?"

"From who?" Severus turned on his side as well.

"Hogwarts." Lily stated in a 'matter-of fact' tone.

"Not yet." he replied. "Did you?"

Lily sighed and looked back towards the ceiling.

"No." she said. "And I'm so nervous to see my O.W.L. results."

Severus gave her a sympathetic smile as he gently removed a strand of her auburn colored hair out of her eyes.

"I'm positive you did perfectly fine." Severus reassured and placed a small peck on the top of her head. Lily smiled in content and rolled back on her side to look at him again.

"When did you become Mr. Sensitive?" Lily giggled and watched as his pale face started to heat up.

"Well, don't expect to see me like this with anyone else at that bloody school." He muttered in embarrassment. Lily smiled, placed her hands on both sides of his face, and slowly drew him close to her. Severus felt like he was floating when their lips tenderly touched again. He now understood why his fellow classmates were so obsessed with snogging. It was bloody brilliant, especially when your partner was the love of your life.

As the kiss was deepened, Severus could feel Lily's warm hands creep under his shirt and slowly tug it up by the hem. The kiss was broke, only for a moment, as Severus shirt came off, and resumed with Lily pushing him down on the bed and straddling his waist.

Severus tried to stifle a moan when he felt Lily slightly move her hips against his. Lily took notice and smiled against his lips. She then took his hands, that were safely placed on her hips, and guided them to remove her own shirt.

"Whoa." Severus said nervously and sat up, causing Lily to fall to the side. "I think we should stop."

"Why?" An out of breath Lily asked.

"Because we were getting closer to…" He paused for a moment. "You know,"

"And?" Lily drawled out with a hand motion. Severus rolled his eyes.

"Well I know I'm ready for this but are you?" He asked. "It's ok if you want to wait."

"I'm ready." She said with a smile.

* * *

Lily quietly turned the doorknob and tiptoed her way into the house, cringing every time she would walk over a floorboard that creaked.

It wasn't late, Lily guessed it was about 5 O'clock, and she knew that she be there before her parents.

She almost made it to the kitchen before she heard a shrill voice call out, "Where have you been all day!"

Turning around she saw Petunia coming down the stairwell, hands on hips, wearing an angry expression.

"I told you I was going to be with Sev." Lily said calmly. Petunia huffed and grabbed Lily's arm, pulling her into the kitchen.

"Lily, I don't think you should be around that grease-ball after what he called you." Petunia said hotly as she sat down at the table. Lily remained standing and crossed her arms.

"First of all, you don't even understand what that word means." Lily seethed. "Second, I forgave him. So it's all behind us now."

"Until he does it again." Petunia said bitterly. Lily's face started getting red and she could feel her hands start to shake with rage.

"It's not going to happen again because he loves me, Petunia, and we are now a couple." Lily fired back.

"What?" She yelled in bewilderment. Lily felt smug at her reaction and smiled.

"Severus and I are in a relationship." She repeated with more confidence. Petunia dropped her look of surprise and angry.

"Fine." She said. "But don't come crying to me when he messes up again."

Petunia stood up, brushed past her, and out of the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I won't!" Lily screamed at her back. No response came and Lily gave the refrigerator a swift kick in frustration.


	3. Chapter 3

It was almost noon when Lily heard the persistent tapping in her bedroom. Tearing herself away from the book she was reading, She made her way over to the window and opened it, causing a dark brown owl carrying a large stuffed envelope to fly in. It was from Hogwarts. She eagerly untied the letter from the owl's leg and gave it a pat on the head. Ripping the enveloping she first pulled out her O.W.L. test results.

_Arithmancy - O (Outstanding)_

_Astronomy - O (Outstanding)_

_Charms - O (Outstanding)_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts - O (Outstanding)_

_Herbology - E (Exceeds Expectations)_

_History of Magic - O (Outstanding)_

_Potions - O (Outstanding)_

_Study of Ancient Runes - E (Exceeds Expectations)_

_Transfiguration - E (Exceeds Expectations)_

Lily squealed excitedly and ran down stairs, letter in hand, to show her parents. When she painfully collided with someone on the stairs.

"Watch were you're going, freak." Petunia barked and stomped the rest of the way to her room. Lily watched her every move with an intense glare but decided to focus of her own happiness than her sister's bitter jealousy.

"Mum!" Lily yelled as she walked down the remaining stairs. "Dad!"

"We're in the sitting room, Lily!" Her mother called back. She raced into the room and stood in front of their view of the television.

"I got my test results!" She informed them happily, extending the paper towards them. Her dad eagerly grabbed it from her and scanned it over with her mum looking over his shoulder.

"I'm so proud of you." Her father said standing up and giving her a tight hug. Lily's mother got up and followed suit.

"Would you mind if I go find Severus, to show him?" Lily asked when they both were sitting down again.

"Go ahead." Her father said with a nod of his head. Lily smiled brilliantly and nearly skipped off.

Lily was finally in view of his house when she stopped in her tracks. Severus's mother was sitting on the back porch. Eileen Snape was rarely outside and if she was it was always in the front. That's why Severus always had Lily come to the back of the house.

Since Lily was already spotted it would have been rude to turn around and walk away so she slowly and nervously walked up to her.

"Hello, Mrs. Snape." Lily greeted in a soft, friendly manner. Eileen looked at her blankly and said nothing.

"Is Severus home?" Lily bit her bottom lip.

'What if she hates me and that's why she's not talking.' Lily though in a panic.

Suddenly the sullen-looking woman gave Lily a large smile. Lily noted that she was missing some teeth but pushed that superficial thought to the back burner of her mind and smiled back.

"You must be Lily." She said simply. Lily nodded her head in confirmation.

"Yes, Ma'am." She responded politely.

"Severus talks about you all the time." She laughed.

Lily blushed and said, "Only good things I hope!"

The screen door let out a loud creak as it was opened and slammed shut on it's on. Eileen and Lily both let out a small sigh of relief to see that the source was Severus.

"What were you talking about?" He curiously asked, his eyes moving back in forth between his mother and girlfriend.

"Nothing at all, Severus." His mother said with a small chuckle and gave his hand a pat of reassurance. "Now go have fun with your girlfriend."

Turning a deep shade of red Severus muttered, "Mother!" in a sharp tone.

Lily laughed and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers in-between his.

"It was great to talking to you, Mrs. Snape." Lily said.

"And it was great to finally talk to you." Eileen said. "I know I embarrass Severus but you two have been friends for years now, I think he should have been a gentleman and properly introduced us long ago."

Severus began walking as fast as his legs could talk him, dragging Lily along since they were still holding hands, until his house was out of sight. As they sat down in a secluded part of the woods Lily stared at him in confusing.

"Are you angry that I was talking to your mother?" Lily asked. Severus, who was looking at everything but Lily, shook his head 'no'.  
"Then what are-"

"Can we please drop the subject." Severus interrupted her while finally looking face to face. Lily looked hurt at his tone so he leaned over and placed a small kiss on her lips.

"I'm sorry." He said in a whisper. Lily waved him off.

"So," Lily complied to his wish as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her O.W.L. results. "Did you get your letter today?"

"I did." He replied and fished his paper out of his back pocket.

"Great!" Lily cried out. "Let's exchange."Lily snatched the paper out of his hands and placed hers on his lap. Quickly and carefully, Lily looked at his scores one-by-one.

"Sev!" She said in amazement. "You got an 'Outstanding' in every subject."

She lowered the paper to look at him and he lowered hers.

"You almost got an 'O' in everything." He pointed out.

"Almost doesn't count. Sev, can you imagine how many people will be knocking your door down with job offers."

He shrugged at her words and muttered, "I highly doubt it."

Lily ignored his negative words and pressed on.

"What do you think you'll do after Hogwarts?"

Pausing to think, Severus felt a panic arise in him. He still wanted to work with the dark arts but Lily would be disgusted that he would even consider a job like that in such a bleak moment in history.

"I was thinking maybe an Auror." He said, thinking quickly. Lily looked pleased and Severus saw her move closer to him.

"I was think of becoming an Auror, also!" Lily exclaimed. "Imagine if the two of became crime fighting partners."

Watching her face fill with excitement made Severus sick with guilt. But he simply couldn't tell her what he truly aspired to be, because this time around he had more to lose. This time she was his best friend, girlfriend, lover…his everything. He had made the mistake of loosing her once and was wasn't about to let that happen again.

* * *

"Sev?" Lily called into the open door after knocking and waiting for a few moments. The two of them planned to meet at his house today so they could floo to Diagon Alley for their school supplies but so far no response was coming from anywhere in the house.

Quietly, Lily stepped in the house and took in her surroundings. She had seen the place before but Severus was always rushing her in and upstairs that she never got a really good look of it. The place looked exactly like Lily had pictured it in her mind. Everything appeared to be a mixture of 50's muggle and wizard culture with layers of dust caked on it. Going deeper inside, Lily gazed at the pictures on the wall. None of the faces were smiling causing Lily to feel a twinge of pity for Severus having to live such a life. Thinking of the portraits that hung on her own wall she felt guilty that she had taken the smallest moments with her family for granted. Wishfully thinking about the future, Lily promised herself that if she and Sev ever started a family that their home would be full of similar portraits to that in her current home.

At the corner of her eye Lily saw a picture that made her smile. Finally something happy. A picture of Severus Snape, no more than a year-old, naked on the ground grinning a nearly toothless grin. Just as Lily reached up to touch it, to remove the dust from such a precious photo, she heard a crashing noise coming from the living room. Stricken with fear, Lily slowly made her way into the room and felt her fears wash away at once when she saw that it was just her boyfriend stepping out of his fireplace.

"Lily!" Severus stuttered in surprise when he looked up. "What are you doing in here?" Lily's head tilted to the side, slightly, and her eyebrows furrowed together.

"We're supposed to be getting our school things today and your door was wide open so I came in." Lily muttered the last bit with embarrassment. She didn't want it to seem like she was snooping around.

"Oh." His voice was void of any emotion and it drove her crazy. Was he happy to see her? Was he upset that she was in his house without permission?

"So," Lily began awkwardly. "Where've you been?"

"I was-" He paused. "At a friends house."

Lily raised her eyebrows and gave a force smile.

"Really? Like who?"

Severus, ignoring her question, wrapped his arms around and kissed her head.

"We should probably get going if we want to get all of our supplies today." He said as he stepped back from their embrace. Lily looked at him in confusion.

"Is there something you're hiding from me?" Lily asked, folding her arms across her chest. Severus sighed loudly and shook his head.

"I went to talk with Malfoy." He admitted with a tone of guilt. It drove him crazy that she could pull any information from him without even trying.

"Malfoy?" Lily spat out his name in surprise. "About what?"

'Think, think, think…' Severus thought in a panic.

"I was thinking about our conversation about future careers and thought that I'd talk to him since he has many connections at the Ministry."

Lily looked at him unconvinced but decided to drop the subject matter for the time being.

"Let's get our supplies." Lily stated, voice void of any emotions. Severus watched as she strolled over to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder.

"Well, come on then." She snapped. He inwardly flinched at her harsh tone but willingly did as she said, and the two of them were off.


End file.
